Where's my Rocket Launcher?
by Sinnera
Summary: Someone or something has stole Resident Evil's trademark Rocket Laucher! Just who could it be? Will Resident Evil be able to continue their sequels? R & R please. Caution extremely retarded.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note- This is my first attempt in writing an utterly stupid story. Please note that it will be extremely retarded and won't make too much sense.

Just so you know,I just thought of this randomly. Just a random thought...

* * *

**The beginning….**

* * *

**Resident Evil (remake)**

Chris Redfield was running around the helipad. The tyrant followed, trying every now and then to impale him on his mutilated claws. Then, he got tired of chasing Chris and tried to kill Rebecca Chambers instead.

"Hold on Rebecca!" Chris yelled out as the tyrant suddenly grabbed her "Wait until Brad throws me my trustworthy rocket launcher!"

Chris waited.

And waited.

"Holy shit!" Rebecca screamed as the tyrant repeatedly stabbed his claws through her body.

"Any second now!" Chris yelled, waiting for Brad to throw the rocket launcher onto the helipad, thus, saving all their lives.

"Oh man…" Rebecca said as the tyrant threw her away. He walked toward Chris.

"Uh….Brad….can you hear me?" Chris chuckled nervously as the tyrant raised its arm toward him….

* * *

**Resident evil 2 (Fun!)**

Claire Redfield was running around the train platform. Mr. X followed her around.

"I've only got two minutes left to live!" thought Claire.

Then Ada Wong appeared on the train.

"Sorry Claire….the rocket launcher is gone!" she said as the tyrant stepped toward Claire.

"You got to be fucken kidding me!" screamed Claire.

* * *

**Resident Evil 4 (How ludicrous) **

Leon Kennedy was fighting with the cloaked dude from Resident Evil 4. He kept trying to kill the monster with his little knife, but it didn't have much effect.

So, he tried to run, but the monster kept throwing construction shit at him.

"Oh shit Oh shit Oh shit Oh shit" Leon kept repeating. Where was Ada when you needed her?

Leon spotted her escaping into a helicopter.

"So long!" she said, waving at him.

"Wait a minute…where's my rocket launcher!"

* * *

**Where is my rocket launcher? The truth (read below)**

A bunch of Silent Hill characters are standing on a hill.

Harry Mason, who appears to be the leader of the bunch, is holding the shiny Resident Evil rocket launcher.

"Now those fools can never continue their sequels! Mwhahahahaha!" He starts laughing like a retard.

All the Silent Hill characters join in, their evil laughter echoing through the mist…..

* * *

Retarded eh? What will Resident Evil do without their trademake rocket laucher?

Its not really funny yet, but it will get funny later on.

Also, some other game characters might be included...

Bye


	2. Arriving at Silent Hill

**Authors note-** I was surprised that the first part attracted some attention so I wrote this one up. Yeah, i should have mentioned something about Nemesis's rocket laucher being stolen. That will be for later on.

I don't own Resident Evil or Silent Hill or any other survival horror games and characters I may mention. Enjoy.

**Caution**- contains bad language. he he.

* * *

**Next part- Arrival**

"So _this_ must be the place" Chris Redfield said awkwardly as he and the rest of his S.T.A.R.S team stood in front of the town of Silent Hill.

"There's something really wrong with this place…" Jill muttered.

"Really?" said Wesker, staring at her.

"Whoa" Barry interrupted "This hall is dangerous…maybe would should try to secure an escape route first…" he paused "there must be a back door somewhere….let's try to find it first shall we?"

The rest of the team stared at him.

"What the fuck are you saying!" They all screamed at him.

Barry scratched his head "Sorry guys…I guess I'm _too_ attached to the script"

"Anyhow" Chris said "All we have to do is bust into that town…find the darn rocket launcher…kick some ass and then get the hell out of here"

Joseph Frost was shaking uncontrollably. "That's easier then you can say…."

"Joseph" Jill said wearily "For the last god-damn time, you are not gonna die"

"That's what you said when I got the next part in the remake- _You're not gonna die this time Joseph_- but I did!" Joseph screamed.

"Face it Joseph, _you're_ just an extra" Chris said simply.

Joseph burst into tears.

Wesker stared at Chris. "By the way asshole, who died and made you the leader?"

"Stop that Wesker" Jill muttered.

"You keep forgetting dumbass…I'm the leader not you!" Wesker shrieked at him.

"Shut up jerk, no body likes you" said Chris reasonably.

"Will you two stop it?" Jill said "We have to get that launcher back! Or we can never continue onto Resident Evil 5!"

"Right-o" Barry said "Assuming that Brad doesn't…."

From behind them, they heard a sudden scream and Brad whizzed away in their helicopter.

"Oh fucktards" Wesker said.

"Not again!" Chris screamed. He ran after the helicopter, thrusting his arms out helplessly. "Wait! Don't go!"

"I told you we couldn't rely on him again!" Jill shouted. "There goes our only way of escape! What do say now Mr. Redfield?"

Chris had gone.

"Chris?"

"Oh man…." Wesker groaned.

Barry walked forward a few steps. "What!" he bellowed suddenly, stooping down. "What is this?"

Jill walked toward him.

"What is it?"

"Blood….Jill, see if you can find any other clues…I'll be examining this! Hope this is not Chris's blood"

Jill rolled her eyes and then hurried off into the mist.

Chris was standing a few meters away, his back turned to her.

Jill walked up to him. "Chris…. what's wrong?"

Chris stared at her in amazement. "I saw a squirrel" he said in awe "It was doing this!" He started imitating a squirrel.

Jill hit him on the head.

"Stop running off like that you ass….now lets get back to the others…"

"Ahhhhhhh! Oh my fucken god!" They heard someone shriek.

Chris and Jill ran back to the others.

Wesker had peed his pants. "Fuck this!" He shouted and zoomed off using his superhuman abilities.

A tall man with a pyramid head stood near Barry, Joseph's severed head stuck on his spear.

"What the fuck is that!" Jill screamed.

Chris pushed Jill toward the monster.

"Take her! Take her instead!" screamed Chris.

Jill hit him on the head. Chris passed out.

* * *

**The very next part- crashing my party!**

Chris woke up later on.

Everyone was gone.

"Oh man! They left me on my own!" Chris said angrily.

He looked around. "I don't like it when I'm on my own" he whimpered.

He stood there for a moment, and then walked around in a circle. After that, he needed to take a pee so he wondered off into the tall trees.

As he did his business, he suddenly heard some voices.

"Hey, what's that?" he said to himself. He walked over and peeked through some bushes.

The same pyramid head was poking Joseph's head, which seemed to have fallen off his spear.

Walter Sullivan from Silent Hill 4 walked up to him and shook his head.

"For the last time Sunderland, you are not a pyramid head" he said.

Pyramid head looked at him. "Oh…"

James Sunderland chucked off his pyramid head.

"How many did you get?" James asked "I killed three so far!"

Walter scowled at him. "Lara Croft and that bitch Milla Jokovich don't count, stupid"

"God damn it" James cursed "Well, I got one….Anyways, how many did you kill?"

"The hunter always waits patiently for the perfect time to strike…." Walter said mysteriously.

James stared at him. "You haven't killed anyone, haven't you?"

Silence.

He burst out laughing "Ha ha! Suck! You haven't killed anybody! So big shot serial killer you are Sullivan!"

_(Note- Walter Sullivan is a famous serial killer in Silent hill. He was known to kill up to ten people before he was captured.)_

Walter looked crestfallen.

"Mum…." He sulked.

"What are you gonna do momma's boy? Come after me with your little spoon!" James teased.

_(Note- this comes from the reference that in Silent Hill, Walter committed suicide by stabbing one of the crap prison spoons into his neck to sever his carotid artery. Anyone who has played Silent Hill 2 or 4 should know this.)_

Walter started to cry. "I'll kill every last one of those Resident Evil characters!" he shrieked out at a laughing James.

Chris sprung out from the bush.

"They are planning to kill us and eat our skins! Oh god, I got to warn the others!" he cried out.

**(Special note to Reader)**

_Unfortunately for Chris, he'd done two utterly stupid things to get noticed almost immediately;_

_Number One-First, he yelled out his last few words, so he was heard. _

_And Number Two- He'd leapt out the wrong side of the bush and was now standing in front of the two Silent Hill characters. _

_What a fucktard._

**(End)**

"Son of a bitch!" Chris screamed out as James and Walter turned at his appearance.

"There he is!" Walter screamed.

He got out his iron pipe with one hand, his ultra pistol in the other and his rusty spoon in his mouth.

"Shit! He's got a spoon!" Chris screamed.

_(Note- Now who knows how powerful a rusty spoon can be in the survival horror world….)_

"Hey! You're crashing my party!" James screamed, whipping out his great knife _(Silent Hill TM)._

He began to drag it very….very…very…slowly toward Chris.

"Fuck!" Chris ran off, screaming his head off.

"God damn it!" James cursed, now sweating like a pig from dragging that heavy knife.

"Why did you let him get away?" Walter asked him, looking puzzled.

* * *

**Next part**- Lost in the town! What will the Resident Evil characters do now with Silent Hill characters hot on their trail? Will they be able to find their rocket launcher? Can Henry Townsend's paper cutting knife inflict some serious damage? 

See you next time.


	3. Invasion

**Authors note-** Here is another chapter.I like the second one better though. Enjoy!

**

* * *

**

**Third Part- Over the hill!**

After knocking Chris out, Jill ran away from the pyramid monster and found herself in the misty town of Silent Hill.

"That's a fuckload of fog" she said to herself.

"You got that right" said a voice.

Jill jumped and turned around. Wesker had appeared from nowhere and was standing next to her.

She slapped him. "Don't do that!" she screamed.

Wesker bitch-slapped her back. "Don't mark my beautiful face!" he screamed back at her.

As Jill and Wesker continued their bitch-slapping, Barry stumbled out of the fog.

"That was one hell of a thing" he muttered. He looked around. "Where's Chris?"

"Hell if I know" Jill muttered sulkily as she rubbed her face _(Wesker had won the fight)_.

"Didn't you leave him to that monster?" Barry asked her.

Jill shrugged.

"Yo!" they heard someone say.

Billy Coen from Resident Evil Zero walked past them.

"Hey, wait a minute…" Barry said "Have you seen some guy wondering around here?"

"You mean that dumb-ass taking a leek in the woods? He was running away from two other stupid guys, screaming his fucken head off" Billy answered "I knocked him out, cause' he was giving me a headache"

"Really?" Jill said.

Suddenly, they all heard a high-pitched scream.

Chris was running down the road toward them.

"They're coming! They're coming ladies and gentlemen!" he screamed "Over the hill!"

And sure enough, a group of Silent Hill characters were chasing after him, James bringing up the rear with his great knife.

"Son of a bitch!" screamed Jill.

"Son of a bitch!" screamed Barry.

"I'm outta here!" screamed Wesker and zoomed off once more.

"Run!" Chris screamed.

Jill shot Chris in the leg and took off with Barry.

"Nooooooooo!" Chris screamed as the Silent Hill characters reached him, preparing to attack-

-and then they stopped, all of them out of breath.

"Just…a few steps….further…" Heather from Silent Hill 3 said weakly. She collapsed on the ground.

"Nearly…there…." Henry Townsend from Silent Hill 4 groaned as he tried to reach Chris's foot with his paper-cutting knife. "Damn…it…."

Chris used the time he had and mixed a Green herb and Red herb he found lying nearby.

"Man you guys really need to work out!" Chris told them.

"Fuck….you…" they answered.

Chris took off, in perfect health, in some other random direction.

"Damn those Resident Evil characters and their unrealistic ability to run forever!" screamed out Walter.

"This….sucks" James muttered as he collapsed on the ground.

"Report to the boss!" screamed out Heather. She stood up, took two more steps and then fell over, unconscious.

"You idiot!"

* * *

**Second part of third part- What's up guys?**

The Bravo team was standing outside happy burger in Silent Hill.

"How about we spilt up and survey the area!" Enrico Marini said with his craptacula voice-acting. "In that way, we can all get killed more easily!"

All of the stupid bravo team nodded in agreement and hurried off into the fog.

Rebecca Chambers was standing next to Edward_, (Who is so unbelievably useless and destined to die because he doesn't have his own last name)_ who was peeking through a window in the Brookshaven hospital.

"Hey….look at this…." He suddenly said.

"No" Rebecca said dully.

"Look…they have…two very…..living peoples in there!" Edward said.

"What the fuck are you saying?" Rebecca looked through the window.

Henry Townsend was standing next to what looked like a tied up patient monster _(From Silent Hill 4)_.

Heather was standing next to him, another patient monster tied up next to her.

"You're doing it wrong bitch! Look how I do it!" He poked the monster with his paper cutting knife. The monster made a really fucked up noise.

_(Note- When you hit the patient demons in Silent Hill 4, they make some really stupid noise. It sounds like someone burping. I'm serious. If you don't believe me, look it up, or even better, play the game!)_

"It doesn't burp loud enough! You have to do this!" She began thrashing the monster with her iron pipe.

"But…. you're killing it!" Henry cried.

"What the hell are they doing?" Rebecca asked.

No answer.

"Ed?" she turned and saw him a few steps away.

"Don't even think about it!" she shrieked as he dashed toward the window.

"Wheeee!" he crashed through the window. "What's up guys?"

"Not again!" Rebecca ran off.

"Who the hell are you!" Heather shrieked.

"I'm some whacked up psycho retard who loves jumping through windows" Edward said proudly.

Heather started beating up Edward with her iron pipe.

Meanwhile, Chris had reunited with his team.

"Why did you shoot my leg you stupid bitch!" he yelled.

"I'll shoot it again if you don't shut up!" She was yelling back.

"I'll shoot both of your fucken brains out if you both don't shut up!" Barry yelled.

Silence.

"Right" said Chris "We know who stole our rocket launcher, so all we have to do, is find their main base, invade it, and then steal it while they're distracted"

"I'm the leader you dumb ass!" Wesker shrieked at him.

A scream erupts from a nearby building, the hospital.

"What is that screaming noise?" Barry asked.

"There's only one way to find out" Wesker said "Chris, go check it out"

"Are you fucken crazy? I'm not going in there!" Chris shrieked.

"Ah, come on Chris" Barry said "You are our old partner you know"

"Just go Chris!" Jill said.

"I hate you guys" Chris sulked.

"Chris, you are going in there" Wesker said.

"But why? Besides…. All I got is this….is this crappy little knife" he showed them a crap combat knife. _(Yes, it is the very same knife you start off with in resident Evil Remake if you are playing Chris)_

Wesker was getting a little impatient. "Chris, I'll almost hate to do this…" He raised his handgun and pointed it at him.

Chris looked shocked. "You wouldn't…"

Wesker continued "Okay, lets look at it this way, A, you go through there and found out what the fuck is going on, or B, we stay here and I get to kill you, either way, I win"

"Oh shit…ummm…" Chris looked thoughtful.

"Now get in there" Wesker said.

"Alright, alright all ready!" Chris shouted as he ran toward the hospital.

"Dumb ass" said Jill.

* * *

Ha ha. 

Next one is coming up soon. I still have to update another story of mine.

Happy Easter.


	4. Fun with fatal frame!

Authors note- Nah, all the funny crap i ever though of is gone. So, its pointless now. However...

* * *

Fourth Chapter- What the?

Chris stumbled into the Brookshaven hospital and fell over.

Groaning, he stood up and had a look around.

"What the?" he said to himself as he studied the dark, blood-stained walls all around him. He pointed aimlessly at a wheelchair that had been toppled over, one squeaky wheel spinning around and around and around and around and around and…..

Chris got dizzy and fell down again.

He stood up once more and had a look at the wheel chair again.

It made him dizzy again and he fell down. Again.

"God damn it!" he cursed, standing up. "Shut up!" he barked at the squeaky wheel.

After a while, he walked down the hallway, wondering where everyone had gone.

"Helloooo!" he called out.

His voice echoed throughout the hall. Chris giggled, obviously amused.

"Helloooo!" he called out again. This time his voice didn't echo back.

Then, something shouted "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU RETARD! THIS IS A FRICKEN HOSPITAL!"

Chris shrieked and cowered in a corner, scared out of his mind.

After a moment, he stood up again, shaking his head, and then decided to peek in some of the rooms.

He opened the first door he saw, which was right next to him.

Nothing much. Just a couple of evil looking monsters busily decapitating what looked like Brad Vicker's bloody corpse.

Chris moved on and opened the next door.

It was a Japanese-like grand hall. Blood stained the walls and floor. Tens, even hundreds of dead bodies littered the room, and in the midst of it all, Sae from Fatal Frame 2 was shrieking out her cold, inhuman laughter……

Chris closed the door.

He looked around him for a bit, and found a piece of pizza lying on the ground.

"Yummy!" he cried out, reaching for it. Just as he picked it up, Eddie, the fat boy with the blue cap from Silent Hill 2 appeared.

"Oi! That's mine!" he cried out.

Chris hugged the pizza close to him.

"Mine now!" he shouted.

Eddie pulled out his revolver, looking evil.

"Killin' a person ain't no big deal" he snarled "Just put the gun to their head…POW!"

"POW POW!" said Chris.

"Give-it-to-me" Eddie said slowly. "Or-you-die"

"Why are you speaking like a retard?" Chris asked.

"Give it to me!" Eddie screamed. "Or die!"

"NEVER!" screamed Chris.

Eddie shot Chris.

Chris fell over. Eddie picked up the pizza and began eating it.

James Sunderland walked up to him. "Good job Eddie" he said. "Killing off that pesky resident evil filth!"

Eddie turned to him, looking evil.

"I knew it, you too, you're just like em', James" he said.

James looked at him. "Okay man, I don't know what the fuck you've been doing lately"

"I'll kill you James!" Eddie screamed.

He pointed his revolver at James.

James chopped his head off with his heavy sword.

He turned to Chris. Chris was not dead, but still alive and perfectly fine.

James groaned. "Aww man, have you been using those stupid mirrors too?"

_Note- In the Fatal Frame/Project Zero games, you can have this object called a stone mirror in your inventory. When your health runs out, it is instantly used, thus reviving you back to full health._

Chris looked up at him. "Nope! Luckily, I had my bullet proof vest on!"

"Oh, okay then" James said, looking more relaxed. "Anyhow….see you soon…"

He dragged his great knife off down one of the hallways.

Chris, now more relaxed, continued down the hallway.

Suddenly, he heard someone shrieking with laughter behind him.

It was Sae again, and this time, she wanted to play.

"Are you leaving me again?" she asked as she walked toward him.

"Damn right!" Chris screamed, zooming out of the area, faster then Wesker.

* * *

Next part of chapter 4- Fun

Barry, Jill and Wesker were bored while Chris was stuck inside the hospital, so they wondered off into the Rosewater Park.

At that time, Barry and Wesker were leading the way, Jill behind.

Then, Barry and Wesker stopped.

Both began screaming.

"Oh my god!" Barry shrieked, dashing behind Jill.

Wesker zoomed around in circles, screaming like a little school girl and finally jumped into T Lake.

_Note- I can't remember the lake's name. I'm too lazy to look it up. It starts with a T though…I'll just call it T Lake._

Jill sighed.

She couldn't believe she was stuck in a deserted evil foggy town with a couple of losers.

Meanwhile elsewhere…..

Heather and Henry were standing outside the Brookshaven hospital. They were ordered to guard the entrance.

Meanwhile, Heather was busy, checking out her nails while Henry was being completely random. First, he imitated a duck, then a elephant, and then Alfred Ashford off Resident Evil- Code Veronica, _(Honestly the most crappiest evil villain I ever laid eyes on)_, in which he did a very good impression of.

After a while, he walked over to one of the small trees that lined the hospital's entrance.

"Pretty tree" he said aloud. He grabbed the tree by the trunk and began swinging it back and forth while singing.

"La-lala-la-la-lala-la-la-lala-la-la-lala-la-la" he sang, whipping the tree back and forth.

Heather rolled her eyes, thinking that he was such a dumb ass.

"La-lala-la-la-lala-la-la-lala-la…..AHHHHHHHH!" Henry dropped his hold on the tree and stumbled back, screaming.

A small hummer came out of the tree and was buzzing angrily towards him. Henry screamed and tried beating it off as it tried to sting it.

During all that commotion, neither Silent Hill character noticed Chris running out of the hospital, in plain sight, screaming his lungs out as Sae continued to chase after him.

I mean, uhh….somewhere else…

Harry Mason gazed lovingly at the rocket launcher in its display case before turning to his new object.

The stupid Camera Obscura from Fatal Frame/Project Zero.

He laughed out loud.

Yes, while the Resident Evil characters were being idiots, he took the opportunity to take away the precious camera which could capture ghosts. The same camera in which all the games centered around.

Man, Fatal Frame was going to be pissed.

Harry really needed a life. Well, he couldn't really do anything after his fate in Silent Hill 3…..except blow stuff up with his alien companions.

Apart from him in his secret room, James Sunderland was also nearby, cursing himself for letting Chris escape.

Elsewhere….

Chris finally escaped from Sae.

Looking around, he realized he was alone.

"FUCK SAKE!" he screamed out aloud.

He really hated being alone.

* * *

Ha ha.

Well, this has just become plainly stupid. By the way, the tree incident...that was based on a true story. Except with a wasp. I'm serious. To my sister's male friend. Who is twenty-four and has a fear of bugs...it was pretty funny.

Next chapter- Resident Evil is pissed. So is Fatal Frame. So will the two survival horror games be able to unite andstand as one against Silent Hill? Will Silent Hill ever surrender the precious Rocket launcher!

Review. And bye.


	5. Missing teamies & loved ones

Authors note- Next chapter is up. Read and enjoy.

* * *

Fifth part- He's so cute!  


Leon Kennedy _(From Resident Evil 4)_ was walking along one of the random streets of the Silent Hill town. He stopped to rest, but only for a little while, because the los ganados where hot (Angry-mob style) on his tail.

So, to solve that problem temporarily, he left Ashleigh Graham, the annoying president daughter, to distract them, at least for a while.

He could relax, for a while.

He did an ammo count, and cursed.

"For fuck sake!" he screamed.

Then, he looked around him. He needed to find a merchant….

…and as soon as he thought about that, a merchant, with his magical blue torch popped out of nowhere. Leon looked around again before hurrying to meet him.

"WELCOME!" said the merchant gruffly in his pirate voice. "Got something that might interest ya"

He chuckled then opened his coat.

"OH GOD!" Leon screamed in horror, stumbling back. "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!"

"LEON!" Ashley stumbled toward him, looking furious.

"What the fuck do you want!" Leon asked, sounding annoyed.

"What the fuck do I want! For you do your fucken job for a change!" Ashleigh shouted. "I was stabbed repeatedly by pitchforks, burned, zapped, prodded, strangled and got stuck in one of those stupid bear traps!"

"Well, since they cancelled Resident Evil 2, I don't really exist in this one do I?" Leon said. "I'm supposed to be dead…damn it! Those Silent Hill characters are such assholes!"

Suddenly, little Walter Sullivan stumbled by.

He looked up at Leon and Ashleigh.

"Oh my god! He's so cute!" Leon said, gazing at the small kid. "Hello little fella…what's your name?"

Ashleigh sighed, putting her hands on her hips. "Damn it Leon, you said I was the cutest thing in the world!"

"Yeah" Leon scoffed, "But that's only compared to Krauser! Awww….he's so cute!"

Ada Wong suddenly appeared.

"Finally!" she said when she spotted Walter "I finally found what I've been searching for!"

She grabbed little Walter and ran off.

"God damn it woman!" Leon took out his shotgun and began chasing after Ada. "He's mine! Give him back!"

Ashleigh stared at them and then sighed.

The merchant closed his coat. "Come back any time" he said in his pirate voice "I mean that…I really do…I get a bit lonely…HEY!"

The merchant pointed accusingly at a Seeker from Fatal Frame 2 _(One of those stupid villager ghosts)_, who was attempting to relight his blue ghost torch with the Merchant's blue fire.

Ignoring them, Ashleigh followed the trail of Leon and Ada and the boy.

Meanwhile….

Chris was hiding behind a fire hydrant. He got out once he thought Sae had vanished….

…and ducked down again when he heard voices. It was Heather and Henry again…and they were holding something in their hands….a camera?

"Wait a minute" Henry said as he struck a pose. Heather took his picture with the camera. Then, they changed roles. Chris watched them giggling as they took random pictures with the infamous Camera Obscura.

Then, they walked away.

"Phew" Chris said as he stood up again. Then, he heard a clicking noise and saw a bright flash of light.

Mafuyu Hinasaki from fatal frame stepped back from his hiding place behind a tree, holding what looked like an ordinary disposable camera.

"I captured a ghost" said he "With this camera….this camera, has the power to see things that the normal eye can't see…I remember the incident, when I first learned of its unique power to capture ghosts…"

Chris stared at him.

"Hey asshole" he said finally "The incident where you first learned it could capture ghosts…was like two seconds ago..." he hesitated "And another thing, I'm not a ghost"

"Really?" Mafuyu looked at him.

"How come you are see-through?" he asked curiously "And white?"

Chris looked at himself. Indeed, the girl guy was telling the truth. He could see right through his arms….

"That's cause I'm dead…is that right?" he asked Mafuyu, who merely shrugged.

"Wait a minute….if I'm dead….." Chris looked thoughtful. He frowned for a moment.

"Okies…well, I'll see you around…" Chris walked off, Mafuyu still staring after him.

_Note- Chris is such a dumb ass. _

* * *

Back to our group

The sudden cause of fear that scared the wits out of Wesker and Barry turned out to be a small, harmless spider, in which Jill shooed away within seconds.

Barry and Wesker were just on the edge of returning to their normal selves again when a dark shadow appeared behind them.

Something grabbed Wesker's shoulder.

Wesker screamed and zoomed away.

Claire Redfield from Resident Evil 2 stared after him in confusion before walking over to Jill.

"What up?" she asked "Have you seen Chris?"

Jill merely shrugged. "We left him behind as usual….by the way, what are you doing here?"

Claire shrugged "I came because I need that stupid rocket launcher" she said "For Resident Evil 2, you get what I mean"

She pointed at a burly figure in the distance. "I'm not the only one, Mr. Nemesis needs it too…or he'll never exceed in exploding the chopper that will rescue you and Carlos in Resident Evil…..oops! I think I said too much!"

Nemesis, who was too ashamed of his ugly face, wore what-looked-like the snow white face from the lakeside amusement park in Silent Hill.

_(Note- this is featured in Silent Hill 3 to solve a puzzle…)_

"I see…." Jill answered.

Suddenly, a young girl with auburn hair (Miku Hinasaki from Fatal Frame) walked up to them.

"Hello" she said "Have you seen my brother?"

Claire stared at her in horror.

"RIP OFF!" screamed Jill pointing at Claire, then at Miku and she burst out laughing.

Claire ran off for a moment to cry in a corner.

Another young girl stumbled onto the scene.

"Have you seen my twin sister!" Mio Amakura (Fatal Frame 2 heroine) asked, quite out of breath since Sae was chasing her.

Claire and Jill looked at one another and shrugged.

And then, Rei Kurosawa from Fatal Frame 3 walked into the scene. "Anyone seen my fiancé Yuu?" she asked.

Silence.

Jill finally broke it. "Who the fucks are you!" she shouted at all of them.

All the Fatal Frame characters cringed.

"We are trying to find our very special people" Miku finally answered.

"Just as she said" Rei agreed.

Mio yelped as Sae approached and took off running. Everyone ignored her. Wesker appeared again, popping out of nowhere.

"Whoa…wait a minute" Wesker said, trying to sort things out "I've looked at your games….aren't your people dead? Or spirited away?"

Rei and Miku rounded at him. "NO! THEY ARE VERY MUCH ALIVE!" they screamed at him.

At that moment Kei Amakura entered the scene. He looked at the two Fatal Frame characters and then at the Resident Evil characters.

"Anyone seen….oh there you are…" he said as Mio reappeared, sagging to the floor in exhaustion.

Suddenly, a nearby trash bin lid popped open, and a woman figure with a white kimono crawled out, long black hair hiding her face….

"Kirie?" Miku asked, studying the ghost.

"NO! IT'S WOMAN IN BOX!" Mio screamed backing away.

"NO! IT'S A RIP OFF!" Jill shrieked. "FROM THE RING!"

Woman in box glanced around for a moment, and then started toward them.

The Resident Evil characters glanced at the Fatal Frame characters. "DO SOMETHING! USE YOUR FREAKY POWERS!" they screamed.

"Hey Mio….this kind of thing is your specialty… right?" Rei asked nervously.

"Get it the hell away from me!" Mio shrieked.

Woman in box suddenly straightened up from her stooped position and stumbled toward them, her arms out stretched.

"Holy shit! RUN! RUN!" Jill screamed.

The game characters ran off, screaming.

Woman in box sniffed. "I only wanted a hug!" it cried.

Chris Redfield ran into the area.

"God damn it!" he cursed.

Woman in box waved at him. "Hello friend!" it called.

Chris stared at the ghost, then at himself.

"Friend? Then that must mean…." Chris frowned, and then suddenly screamed. "OH MY FUCKEN GOD! I'M DEAD!"

* * *

Chris is unbelievably stupid. In actual fact, I love Chris. He's my most favourite character in the game...I just wanted to think what it would be like if he were some retard. Ha ha. 

Next Chapter- While Silent hill is strutting around, King of the game world, Fatal Frame and Resident Evil devise a secret plan to get their precious weapons back! Found out what it is...and will Chris get his body back?

Review! Ha ha. And I will continue.

I think this will end soon...I don't intend in making it too long...


	6. A filler for you!

Author's note- I'm surprise alot of people found this to be "funny". It's just random stuff that pops into my head.

Don't expect too much in this chapter but a couple of stupid things. I'm serious. Nothing much will happen.

Think of it as a filler as I think about what to write next. (A filler that is part of the storyline)

Enjoy.

* * *

Sixth Chapter- a new plan for our villains

Harry was not very pleased.

"Hey you mother fuckers!" he screamed at his fellow Silent Hill people. "Why aren't those idiots dead yet!"

The Silent Hill characters shrugged, muttering.

Harry leaned back in his chair "Man, I can't believe I'm stuck with you assholes" he said, slapping his head.

"Can't you like, zap them with your god-like powers?" Henry asked Alessa Gillespie from Silent Hill.

Alessa sneered at him. "Like what am I? The mother of god?" she asked sarcastically.

"Well…you are-" Henry started.

"SHUT UP YOU SICK FUCK!" Alessa screamed.

"Think about it" Heather interrupted, "We are Silent Hill…can't we do something…you know…screw with their heads?"

"Fatal Frame supposed to do that crap" Harry said "With all their freaky ghost…Uhh…things"

"Can't we just kill them all?" asked Henry.

"Fuck off Henry!" Heather shouted at him.

"Yeah Henry" James smirked. "You're the only main character in Silent Hill who does not have a proper personality, unlike your successors"

"Yeah he means us" said Heather.

"That's true, no one likes you Henry" said Harry.

Henry sulked. "I hate you guys"

"Anyway, back to our very evil schemes" Heather began.

"Everyone! Look at me!" cried Henry.

Henry began jumping up and down, waving his arms like a complete psycho. Everyone ignored him.

"Listen to me god damn it! I can't stand being ignored all the time!"

"Maybe we should write them a letter" James said "From a dead person"

"Good idea" they all agreed. "That should give them the willies"

"You're not listening to me!" Henry was still screaming.

* * *

A new plan for our heroes

"What the fuck was that!" screamed Jill when she and everyone else had gotten a couple of blocks away.

"Hell if I know!" Rei and Miku screamed. They both looked at Mio.

"It was a ghost" Mio said.

"Hey assholes!" Chris spun into the scene. The fatal frame characters screamed.

"Calm down" Jill said, sounding annoyed "This is just our retarded team mate! Anyways…go on"

"It was a ghost" repeated Mio, sounding exasperated.

Chris looked astounded. "A ghost! Heck, I don't believe in ghosts!" he scoffed, crossing his transparent arms.

"Do you even believe in anything?" Jill demanded.

"If I can see it, then I believe it!" Chris answered.

"But…you are a ghost" everyone said.

Chris looked down at himself "Oh…"

"Cool" Barry said "What's it like?"

"Ah…I feel cold…." Chris said, shivering.

"That's it? Just cold?" Barry asked, scratching his head.

"What? Do you want me to write a song or something!" Chris said "I'm fucken freezing here"

He glanced back at his teammates "But being one of these things has a lot of advantages! I mean, I can walk through walls, possess people if I really want to and the best thing about it all is that I can't die again!"

Chris looked around. "Course…I don't have any super powers….man, this sucks!" he scowled.

"How did you die?" asked Wesker.

Chris shook his head. "I don't know exactly…though there was a guy that shot me before…then a ghost that could kill you instantly with one touch….and then that random psycho who beat the crap out of me with his superhuman powers…" Chris said, counting off each possibility.

Wesker fidgeted a little.

"Anyway" Jill looked at the Fatal Frame characters "You guys are so creative"

Rei looked at her. "Meaning?" she asked.

Jill rolled her eyes. "Woman in box, wandering man, crouching woman…etc, etc….what the hell!"

Fatal Frame shrugged.

"So if I stood here…" Jill continued, standing next to a pole "Would you call me woman at pole?"

Miku studied the scene, her arms crossed. "Nah…standing woman is more suitable"

All the fatal frame characters nodded their agreement.

Jill shook her head, sighing.

"Anyhow" Jill said "Have you guys thought of a plan yet…what the hell are you guys doing!"

All the fatal frame characters were now trading photos and sticking them into brightly colored albums.

"Nope" they said, slapping their albums shut.

Barry and Wesker shook their heads, shrugging.

Chris looked up "I have a plan" he said "What if we-"

"How about we blow the god-damn place up!" Claire asked. "That will solve all our problems"

Wesker looked thoughtful "Yeah…but there's just one problem…"

He rounded on her "HELLO! The fucktards have got our rocket launcher!"

Claire looked disgruntled.

"We could do-" began Chris.

"What if we take pictures of them doing stupid things and stick them all over the internet?" the fatal frame characters interrupted.

"Do you think anyone would care?" questioned Jill.

"Maybe we can-" Chris tried again.

"No need to lose our heads" said Kei calmly "Let's handle this all together like adults…."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" everyone screamed at him.

"I HAVE A PLAN!" Chris shrieked.

"WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO!" they all shrieked back at him.

Chris ignored them "Gather around my friends…." He said, gesturing toward them.

All of them gathered in a small circle.

"WE walk over to their base" Chris started "….the one near the hospital…we walk around their building….we hammer on all the doors…we peek through the windows….and then…we walk away again"

"What's the point of that?" said Kei, looking puzzled.

"That is the point; they'll never expect it…" Chris whispered.

Jill sighed. "Fuck off Chris"

"Why don't we just kill them all?" asked Wesker. "Come on…they've been picking us off one by one…all the fuck we do is run! Why do we do that!"

Barry scratched his beard "Because you run and you are the leader you know"

Chris smirked. "No, we don't listen to you Wesker"

Wesker looked astounded. "Why!" he demanded.

"Come on Wesker, we all know you're gay" Jill said "Either that...or you're a real wuss…"

"I'm not gay!" Wesker said.

"Fine" Chris said "Believe that…Whatever helps you sleep at night"

Wesker looked at him, sneering. "Well, at least I do something in the game!"

"I can do stuff!" screamed Chris.

"Oh yeah…"

"No really, I'm really capable! I can do lots of stuff, lots!" Chris cried "I mean I can do… like I can…I can really …umm…"

Chris suddenly broke down, sobbing.

"Can we get back to reality now?" Mio asked weakly.

"OH MY FUCKEN GOD!" Wesker suddenly screamed. "WHAT THE HELL!" He pointed at a wall.

On the wall was a message etched in red.

"WHAT! What is this!" Barry asked gruffly "Blood! Jill, see if you can-"

"Oh shut up Barry" Jill told him.

"I think I can recognize one letter" Chris said meekly.

They all took a closer look. The message was really clear;

_"WESKER IS UNBELIEVELY GAY"_ it read.

"True enough" Jill said reasonably. Wesker shot her an evil look before adding Jill Valentine to his ever growing death list.

Underneath the message was another note.

It said something random, like this;

_Dear Resident Evil & Fatal Frame scum_

_This is Mr. Joseph Frost (The guy killed by me...I mean…uhh….pyramid head)_

_I would like to say that you guys are a bunch of fucktards._

_You guys cannot act. _

_You will die._

_Hating you more every day_

_Joseph_

"Joseph?" Chris said aloud.

Jill frowned "Wait a minute…isn't Joseph dead?"

"Well duhhhh!" said Wesker.

"This is ridiculous!" Chris said "A dead person cannot write a letter!"

"Yeah" Kei said "Dead people can't put stamps on it or take it to the post office either!"

"That bastard!" Chris snarled.

"He's so mean!" Wesker whined.

"Let's go find Joseph and kill him again!" Chris said. "Who's with me!"

The Fatal Frame characters and Resident Evil characters looked at one another.

"Okay, I'm cool about it" Fatal frame muttered. Jill, Barry, Claire and Wesker rolled their eyes before reluctantly agreeing.

* * *

Meanwhile…

"So, what did you think?" Henry asked Heather, who was peering at our heroes from behind a telephone pole. "Did they fall for it?"

"For the last god-damn time Henry, I don't know" Heather said loudly.

"I mean, you are the one watching" Henry said.

Heather whirled on him. "Jesus man, I've been watching them for only 2 fucken minutes! How the hell am I supposed to know!"

"So?"

"Henry, for the last god-damn minute, you have been asking me non-stop whether or not they fell for it!" Heather said impatiently "Now I have no fucken idea so quit asking me that stupid question! I bet in the next 10 seconds you'll ask me that same question again and my answer will be exactly the fucken same! So shut the fuck up!"

A brief silence came and went.

"So…do you know what they're thinking?" Henry asked casually.

"I fucken hate you" answered Heather.

* * *

Next chapter preview: What will Silent Hill's terrifying plan lead to? Can our heroes survive the horrors that await them? Well…probably not…

The countdown for the final chapter is on! A new twist will be unlocked in the next chapter! Maybe anyhow….

Review please. And see ya around!


	7. Chapter 7 FUCKIN FINALLY!

Authors note- I know you guys are pissed, so sorry bout' that. I'm running out of ideas, so this will end pretty quickly. I have to update my other stories too...

Not too funny...just same old stuff, I wrote this in half an hour. he he .

Enjoy while you can.

* * *

The Seventh chapter!

"God damn it!" said Chris once they found Joseph's mutilated (And headless) body.

"I thought so….how could a dead person write a letter?" asked Jill.

"I don't know" Wesker said to himself "But I think I know how to find out"

"Wait! I know!" Barry cried "The body was reanimated by the T-virus or something like that….so he was a zombie or living dead thing….and the bastard decided to send us a lovely letter…..and flowers and stuff"

"Wow" said Chris in silent awe. "I am so impressed"

"Wait a minute…how can you become a zombie without your head? That's just stupid" said Jill quite reasonably.

"You can become a zombie without your head! WOW!" Chris screamed in delight.

"Shut the fuck up Chris" everyone said.

Chris shut up, looking pissed.

"Hey….there's only four of us" said Wesker counting with his fingers.

"No…Five including Joseph" Chris said, counting as well.

"Shut up Chris" everyone said again.

"Where did those stupid fatal frame characters go?" Jill asked.

* * *

Meanwhile at the Merchant stand….

"Ah….I'll buy it at a high price" said the stupid merchant as Mafuyu handed over his disposable camera.

"Can I have that then?" he asked, pointing to a handgun.

"Not enough cash, stranger" the merchant replied.

"Fine! Then give me the damn camera back then!"

"Not enough cash stranger" said the merchant again.

"You are such an asshole" Mafuyu said grumpily as he stalked off.

"Come back any time" said the merchant gruffly.

And he began to sing a little sad song. "_I'm all alone_…_there's no one here beside_…"

Leon Kennedy suddenly appeared out of the fog walked up to the merchant.

"Welcome!" said the merchant.

"Got any eggs?" he asked grumpily.

"Why do you want eggs Leon?" asked Ashleigh Graham, appearing out of thin air next to him, frowning.

"To make a fucken omelet" replied Leon.

* * *

The idiots and the chess set….

Chris and company stumbled across a gigantic set of chess.

"WOW" Chris said, looking at it in awe.

"Wait one second….how did we get here?" Jill asked out aloud.

Everyone looked around. No one had an answer.

"Hey look! There's a door on the other side!" said Claire pointing.

They walked up to the other side with the white chess pieces.

"Hey, these mother fuckers won't let us through!" Jill said angrily.

"Correction" said Wesker "They are blocking us!"

"I know this!" Barry said, folding his arms. "It was in a kid's book or something…"

"Yeah!" said Chris "its _The Grudge_ isn't it?"

"They won't let us through…so there's only one thing to do…" Jill muttered.

"Yeah! Blow this god-damn place up!" screamed Claire.

Wesker rounded on her. "No rocket launcher you dumb ass!"

"Can't we just create a bomb out of spam and gunpowder?" asked nemesis rather politely.

"You know…" Chris said "That could work…"

"No you fucktards! I mean we have to play our way across" Jill said simply.

"I wanna be queen!" said Chris loudly.

"Ok…I'll be a castle thing" Barry said.

"Ohh! I wanted to play the Queen!" said Wesker.

Jill, however, walked over to the white king and smashed it to oblivion.

"Check mate!" said Jill.

* * *

Silent Hill again

Everyone was playing poker when a sudden beep beep went off.

"They have penetrated our defense!" screamed James in shock and he jumped out a window.

"Calm down!" ordered Harry.

"We're all gonna die!" screamed Henry and he jumped out another window.

Suddenly, there was a crash and Edward flew into the room.

"Hiya fellas!" he said happily.

Rebecca followed him through, looking pissed off.

The silent hill characters screamed like the little bitches they are and escaped by jumping out of the room.

Alpha team along with nemesis and Claire burst into the room, waving their firearms about.

"Alright you sick dogs! Put your hands up!" snarled Wesker.

"They're gone!" Jill exclaimed, looking at the two bravo team members.

They both lay dying on the floor, covered in lots of blood.

Note_- How they got hurt is unknown and I'm too lazy to list the details….but I have to kill people off anyhow, just like the original resident evil does. _

"And so is the rocket laucher!" Chris screamed, pointing.

He was right, the display case was empty.

"Edward!" they all screamed, ignored Rebecca completely."What happened!"

"Be….careful….." Edward said weakly. "A….betrayal….in Resident evil…."

"Is it you again Wesker!" Chris, Barry and Jill asked him.

Wesker flushed. "NO!" he screamed.

"Someone…..aided….those assholes…into stealing….rocket launcher…." Edward continued. "Everything plotted……from the start….to benefit both capcom….and konami…."

"Wesker?"

"NO!"

"Big bucks….for both corporations….." Edward said "To….attract…more….interest….in the survival horror gaming……franchise"

"Jesus, how long does it take for you to die?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, just die already!" Jill said.

"Fuck….you…." Edward said and he dies.

"NOOOOOO!" everybody screamed.

"By god!" Chris screamed.

_(The same phrase he says if you kill off Barry in the original game)_

"Who could do such a thing!" screamed Barry.

They looked over at Wesker.

"It's not me! How many times do I have to say it!" Wesker said grumpily.

"Well you are the big villain of the series" said Jill "I wonder who it is…."

Chris began to giggle. "Those menacing fools decide to ruin my evil scheming….." he said darkly.

"What?" everyone asked, now staring at him suspiciously.

"Oh shit, was that me talking?" Chris said, looking flustered "Nah….just thinking aloud"

* * *

WHO COULD THE RESIDENT EVIL BETRAYER BE?

IS IT:

A) CHRIS

B) CHRIS

Or…

C) CHRIS

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT UNBELIEVABLY STUPID AND FINAL CHAPTER OF THIS STUPID PARODY.

* * *

The end? One more chapter to go. ha ha.

You'll be surprised to find out who this "betrayer" is, you won't expect it. Nah, I'm kidding. It's Chris...or is it? I doubt he'll have enough brains to plan something as brilliant as this.

Bye bye.


	8. Chapter 8

Authors note- Sorry people. I forget to update. How long has it been? About six months or something??? Sorry. I don't have enough time to myself anymore!!!! I really don't!!!

Anyhow, I decided to divide the last chapter up in a couple of parts so there will be more coming up soon!!! Hope its funny enough...I'm really losing ideas...

* * *

Final chapter- part one- Our woes

"I'm tired!"

"I'm hungry!"

"I need to pee!"

"FOR FUCK SAKE CHRIS!!!!" screamed all the game characters…again.

Yes, Chris was being annoying again. I mean, how much can everyone stand? It's already been seven chapters.

All Chris ever succeeded in doing was,

1) Pissing everyone off. That's for fucken sure.

2) Losing Brad Vickers and his only chance of escape from this crazy town…..again!!!!

3) Nearly getting decapitated by Silent Hill characters (I'm surprised they haven't killed him yet)

4) Being chased and killed by Sae (But he somehow came back as a ghost! Damn!)

5) And last but not least, pissing everyone off. I know I already said this but I just wanted you to know that.

Now, I got that off my chest, let's have a look at the others.

Chris was being the little wuss that we all know he is and the other characters were beginning to tick.

Yes, that's right.

Jill was now shooting randomly, in any random direction at every noise, Wesker was zooming in and out whenever he felt like it and the stupid pirate merchant was flashing his coat open and closed like there was no tomorrow.

There is no trace of any fatal frame characters, except for the occasional ghost.

So the story so far is that the whole bravo team is dead ( I don't really wanna get into the details, lets just assume the same fate that they all get in Resident Evil 1 & remake, except in more hilarious ways. Well, since bloody Richard in the game was killed by poison, Neptune and Yawn, let's just say Eddie devoured him), and the characters discovered one of their own had assisted in stealing the rocket launcher!!!!

If that's not painful enough.

Okay, I'll stop stalling and get back to the story.

Claire had grabbed Wesker by the throat and began shaking him.

"I can't take much more of this!!!" she shrieked.

Wesker gagged and spewed up a knife. Yes, a Swiss army knife.

"Ewww!!!!" Chris made a face.

"I wonder what Edward meant" said Barry, scratching his beard.

Jill rounded on Barry. "I can't stand it!!!! What the hell do we do!!! Barry!!! What the hell do we do!!!"

"Whoa!!! Calm down, calm down Jill!!!" Chris said.

"How can I calm down!!!" shrieked Jill. "Half of the cast for Resident evil 1 has been slaughtered!!! Wesker is a total gay nut!! ("Hey! I'm standing right here!" screamed Wesker) We just found out some utterly insane asshole made us go through this shit in the first place and the worst thing about this is…."

"…that Chris is dead, but still around to piss the shit out of all of us? And now, we can't even hurt him ourselves, let alone get rid of him?!!!!" Barry answered for her.

"No!" Jill screamed, completely losing it. "It's the fact we are being followed by a fucken merchant who is flashing and singing the peanut butter jelly time song!!!!!"

"Oh, is that it?!" said the merchant angrily.

* * *

Final chapter- part one-there is no chocolate milk

Patient monster from Silent Hill vs. Zombie from Resident Evil.

Zombie stumble rotting flesh smelly.

Patient no mouth but hungry.

Zombies try eat patient but patient is like slippery condom.

Patient spray acid and runs around in circles on floor.

There is no swimming pool to hide in.

* * *

Final Chapter- part one- forget the passage above

"Ooookayyy…" said Leon as he finished reading the retarded diary. It belonged to one of the Silent Hill characters. (Can you guess who?)

He was bored. He was a smart resident evil character. He used his knowledge to out smart his enemies.

Unlike some peoples.

Anyhow, Leon had run away from Ashleigh, again, who he hated very much because she annoyed him….and the fact she kept dying, causing him to fail his mission and start all over again from the typewriter he last used.

He'd given up chasing crazy Ada and the little Walter kid. Now, he was back on track, ready to fight for the rights of capcom….and the rocket launcher.

So Leon gets up, loads his shotgun, and jumps outta a window, landing perfectly on the ground in a crouched position.

It doesn't really matter that the building is ten stories high.

Leon gets to his feet and starts blasting away.

First, is Henry, who was taking a leek near the parking lot. He screams and falls to the ground, spraying blood everywhere. Next is Heather, who ran up to see what all the commotion was about.

BANG!!!!

Heather is thrown back by the shot and falls to the ground near Henry. James appears on the scene, dragging his heavy knife. Leon shoots him down too, just as easy.

The same happens to Maria, Claudia, that doctor man from Silent Hill 1 (RELOAD!!!!), then followed by Alessa, Douglas (Who is like a SH version of Barry!!!!), Angela, Leonard, Dahlia and finally, Cybil.

The Silent Hill characters were losing just like that.

Against one Resident Evil character.

Who is blond.

Leon raises up his shotgun in victory as the Silent hill characters crawl around in their own blood (Comes in four different colours!!!!)

"I win!!! I win!!! Now where's my rocket launcher???!!!!"

"Harry…man??? We are under heavy fire power!!!!" screams Henry into Heather's radio.

"Oi!! Get your own!!" Heather says in disgust, squirming away from him.

"But mine doesn't work without a cable!!!!" cried Henry in frustration.

"Dude, you can buy them at the two dollar shop!!!!"

"Send in the reinforcement!!! screams James into his own radio.

"Yeah! Send in the new guy!!!" screams Henry in agreement.

Travis O'Grady comes in. (Just so you know, this dude is the new guy in the newest silent Hill-origins for PSP!!!!)

Leon tries to blast him. Misses. Travis blasts back.

"Holy shit!!!!" Leon ducks behind some random shrub. "You mean! You….."

"Yes…" Travis replies slowly "Konami stole the same game play used for Resident Evil 4 in my feature game!!! Aha! Sucked in!!!!"

"You assholes!!!!" screams Leon.

* * *

Final chapter- part one- Lets give these guys a break!!!!

Back to the others.

Meanwhile, Claire gets a call from Leon from the gear she stole from agent Hunnigan or something. "Hey guys!!! Need a little bit of backup!!!" screams Leon.

"Whats up?" Claire asks.

"Whats up?! Whats up!!! There's some random new fuck that can do the same things as me!!! That's whats up!!!!"

"You mean he's even got the laser sight?" Jill asks.

"YES!!!!"

"Those bastards!!!!" snarls Wesker.

Chris thinks for a moment. "Have you tried kicking him?" he asked after a moment.

A pause.

"Wait one sec" Leon sighs.

A moment passes and Leon reappears on the little screen. "Nope, he can block"

"He can block too!!!!" Jill shrieks out.

"Those sneaky sons of a…" Wesker mutters.

"MY BALLS!!!!" screams Barry for no particular reason.

Chris thinks again "Ohhh...have you tried punching?"

Jill rolls her eyes in frustration.

END OF PART ONE

* * *

It'll take me a while to think up something new...thats why I decided to divide the final chapter into two or three parts.

I'm too tired to write anymore, I still gotta finish a chapter for my other story!!!!

Good night peoples. And review if you want me to write up the next chapter faster!!!! I NEED INSPIRATION!!!!

Thank you!!!!


	9. Where the hell is my rocket Launcher?

**Authors note**- Just when you thought I quit, I have come back from the dead. Mwhahahaha

Enjoy the rest of this incredibly stupid piece of shit I've decided to end here and now. A little short, but I decided to wrap things up.

* * *

**Where's my rocket Launcher!!!!!- final chapter**

**9.22pm**

**Report A**

**Mr. Harry Mason moves strangely shaped package from Silent Hill to new headquarters. All followers abandoned, left to die for personal reasons. **

**Wesker, Redfield, Burton and Valentine, a.k.a S.T.A.R.S (Stupid Tart Anus Running Studs), follow in stolen space ship. **

(Chris and Jill watch out one of the windows while Wesker pilots. Barry is reading porn. Chris and Jill see a white pale face gleaming out in the darkness. It is Lord Voldemort flying without a broomstick or weird horse thingie. He lifts up his wand, ready to curse them-

-"WHEEEEE!" he shrieks out. "I CAN FLYYYYYY!" he zooms alongside them. Chris and Jill look at one another, then close the window's shutters. "LOOK AT MEEEEEE!" Voldemort is still shrieking, then he gets sucked into the turbo engine of a random plane.)

**Reach the new headquarters, the Spencer Estate, alledgedly blown up in July 1998... **

_Excuse this boring type, lets move on-_

**

* * *

**

**Meanwhile at the Spencer Estate...**

"Alright! Finally!" says Mr. George Trevor. "That thirty-year long holiday has revived me at last! Now back to my loving family!"

He enters the mansion and looks around. "Why is the place so empty?" he says curiously. He walks over to that hallway where the dogs break in through the windows. "What?!" he cries, pointing towards one of the cabinats. "Why has that been moved slightly to the right?!" He gets angry. "How dare people come here and move everything around!"

He wanders into the courtyard. "My dog!" he shrieks pointing to the dead, bullet-ridden creature. "Who shot the family dog to death?!"

He runs to the room with the giant mirror, just in time to see our heroes shoot a balding fat zombie in the head. "You shot Larry!" he shrieks "You shot Larry the gardener! How dare you!"

He runs to another part of the house where he finds the dead giant snake "My trouser snake!" he screams out "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"

The S.T.A.R.S team walk in. Two hunters crash through the windows. Jill blows their heads off with the shotgun ""NO!!!! Why did you kill the neighbor's kids?!"

"boo" Chris the ghost says.

Jill shoots Mr. George Trevor, then turns to the group.

"This place is big! I mean we've been here before but..."

"But?" Wesker says, scratching his head.

"Ha! You said Butt!" laughs retard Chris

"We should spilt up" Wesker says "Carlos! You go that way!"

"Right-O" Carlos says and runs straight smack-bam into a book-case. He gets knocked out and lies there unconcious.

"That didn't go as well as I hoped" Wesker says. "Alright, the Jill sandwich and Barry go into the snake and Chris can just die somewhere"

"I dunno?" Barry says, feeling up his stupid beard "What do you think Daniella?"

The maid from Haunting Ground looks up coldly. "I am not complete" she says, and goes on to do her cleaning.

"Like Daniella says, it's too dangerous" Barry continues.

"Yeah, we should stick together, and send those pussies Fatal Frame to go into the dangerous spots" Jill says.

"Where are those guys anyway?!" Chris wonders out loud.

**

* * *

**

**Meanwhile**

All the fatal frame characters are huddled together, surrounded all around by all the evil, disturbing looking fatal frame ghosts.

"I'm scared" says a trembling Mafuyu.

**

* * *

****Back to the story!**

"Anyways, until we know who stole our TM item, we should stick together!" Jill says.

They hear a shooting noise.

"Hey! What the hell was that?!" Chris exclaims.

"That was called, a gun shot" Wesker says.

"Thank you Captain Obvious!" Chris says, saluting.

"Lets go have a looksie!" Barry says and he dashes off, giggling like a retard. "My dolly!"

"Where is everyone?!" Carlos wonders as he regains conciousness. He stands up and looks around.

"Well, better start looking for them" he says to himself. He spins around and starts running-

-and smack-bams into the bookcase again. He gets knocked out again.

**

* * *

**

**To our heroes!**

Wesker is singing a happy little song

_"I loveeee my S.T.A.R.S_

_Little piggie wiggies_

_swarm on the ground with a spoon_

_perform kung-foo on Chris_

_and slap Jill anytime!_

_Barry is my man!"_

"Please kill me" Jill mutters.

"Oi! At least you can die! I have to live with it!" Chris says annoyed.

"Go away Chris" says Jill.

Chris pouts at her. "Fine!" he zooms away angrily.

"Wait a minute! YOU!" Barry shouts.

Harry Mason is running away from them up some stairs. Jill pulls out her gun, carefully aims, and shoots him int the leg. He falls over.

"YOU FUCKEN SHOT ME ASSHOLES!" he screams. "OH GOD IT HURTS!"

They walk over to him. Jill grabs him by the hair "Where's my rocket launcher?" she asks.

"I don't have it! I swear! He has it!" Harry whimpers.

"Who are you talking about?" Barry asks.

"Me!" says a gay voice.

A shadowy figure appeared on the steps.

* * *

**WHO IS THE MYSTERIOUS SHADOW? **

**WILL THIS BE THE END OF OUR HEROES?**

**IS FATAL FRAME A WHOLE BUNCH OF #$$$?**

**FIND OUT IN THE FINAL CHAPTER OF "WHERES MY ROCKET LAUNCHER?"**

**OKAY I'M JUST FUCKING WITH YOUR HEADS LOL**

**IF YOUR THINKING "FUCK YOU" SINNERA RIGHT NOW YOU WILL BE PRAISED **

**NOW BACK TO THE STORY!!!!!!**

* * *

"Alfred Ashford!" all the RE characters gasp as the gay tart from Resident Evil Code Veronica appears.

"Wait a minute?! It was you all along?!" screams Jill.

Alfred giggles "That is correct" he says in his high pitched girly gay voice.

'I was so, very, very angry because my character was just tossed aside without any mention of it afterwards! Even in your Report Mr. Whisker!"

"Wesker" Wesker corrects him.

"Oh...whatever!" Alfred says thrusting his arm out in the 'talk to the hand' kind of statue. "So, anyways my little cuckoos, I stole the rocket launcher with the help of another character that was killed off in their game! My dear Harry!"

"You're sick!" Jill says angrily.

"Wait a moment, you took the rocket launcher, but how come you took fatal frame's camera too? What was the main point of that?!" Wesker demands.

"So it could never be used against me" Alfred says in his high pitched girly voice.

"In that case, why not take every important item in the gaming industry?" Wesker asked.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" squeals Alfred. "Ho ho ho! No, I will take you all with me!"

"What, to the land of the girly poofs?" Jill asks.

"No Valentine, to hell!" He laughs out loud (LOL) as the atmosphere becomes silent hillish.

"What the?" Jill says

"Oh my god!" Barry says.

"Now, you shall all be trapped in this mansion! Never to come out! Haunted by the freaks of hell!" Alfred howls in glory.

"I can't believe we're stuck here by poofter boy" Jill mutters.

"Shut your mouth bitch!" Alfred screams at her, pulling the finger out at her.

"Wesker! Do something!" Barry says as the evil-ness surrounds them.

"What?"

"Use your superman/terminator abilities!" Jill says.

"Uhh..."

"Whats the matter?!" Jill and Barry scream at him.

"I...don't have super powers" Wesker stutters.

Jill and Barry stare at him. "Wait! Weren't you some superhuman freak?"

"No..." Wesker begins to cry "I... made all of it up! I was so lonely, I wanted just someone to like me!"

"Oh my god" Barry says, shaking his head.

"And the sunglasses?" Jill asks angrily.

"They're... just plastic!" Wesker wails, taking them off and snapping them in two.

"I don't believe this" Jill mutters. "Now I'm stuck here, in hell, with some big-ass bad idiot who can't do anything and some buff family man who's only major line revolves around **Oh my god **and **Jill sandwiches**"

"Come one Harry boy!" Alfred commands "We're leaving!"

"Do I get my ice cream yet?" Harry asks excitedly.

"Soon my pet, soon" Alfred says seedily. They leave the room, followed closly by silent hill monsters.

Our heroes are now agruing among themselves. "No! I have appeared the most times in the Resident Evil franchise! I was one of the top ten game babes! I should be the main character!" Jill was saying.

"Yeah! But I'm the big evil guy in the series!" Wesker whined.

"Who doesn't even how any super powers!" Jill shoots back.

"You take that back!" Wesker whines.

"You two, we can dicuss this calmly" Barry says. He then punches Jill in the face. All the characters start fighting.

**WARNING- THIS SCENE CONTAINS BLOOD AND GORE THAT MAY OR MAY NOT FUCK UP YOUR MIND. **

"Wheeeee! Up here guys!" Chris floats into the scene. "Where have you...what the hell are you guys doing?!"

"It was Alfred Ashfield all along!" Wesker says to him.

"I figured that out" Chris says darkly "He was always snooping around everyone's backs, looking for a good time to strike"

Chris looked glum "But we can't give up! We have to keep fighting! Even as we lose, we must keep at it! Now what do you say?!"

"Yay! Leon!" Jill says, pointing to the cool Resident Evil character.

"Let's go" Leon says, looking so cool and buff in his bomber jacket.

* * *

**Where the evil gays have gone...**

"What about my ice cream!!!!!" Harry squeals in annoyance.

"Silence! There is no time for that Harry-boy! We must be hasty!"

Harry stops. "Can you hear that?!"

There was a rumble in the distance. "War! War! It's WAR!" says one of the silent hill monsters and it jumps off a cliff.

"For god's sake" Alfred pulls out that crappy rifle he tends to miss with so much.

Then..over a hill, comes all the Resident Evil characters including fatty-fat fat fat Chief Irons lumbering after them in the background. Then over another hill, comes the fatal frame characters, and their ghosts, Chris at their head. "For Resident Evil and Fatal Frame scum!" he cries, carrying a pointy stick.

"Oh, shit sticks" Harry moans, and he turns to run for it.

"Not so fast!" The other silent hill characters have surrounded him, grinning.

"You abandoned us leader!" Heather says.

"You always treat us like crap and boss us around!" Henry says.

"People reading this fanfic hate us because of you!" says James.

"So? what's your point?' Harry asks, annoyed.

The silent hill characters glare at him.

"We only want to help you" Henry says.

"Okay! Well attack them!" Harry shrieks, making a dash for it as the other silent hill characters run at the resident evil ones.

Its the most bizzarre battle in history. Resident Evil is blasting things with their shotguns/magnums and other various weapons they possess. Silent hill is stabbity stab-stab with their little melee weapons. Fatal Frame characters are throwing poke'balls TM out and releasing captured ghosts from their seals to attack everyone.

Alfred Ashford makes a run for it-

-then finds his way blocked by our heroes.

"Nice try my little cuckoos" says Alfred, smirking at them.

"But, it's far too late! I have everything under my control! Now I must make myself scarce!"

He throws down a flash generade. But he doesn't vanish. Chris, Jill, Barry and Wesker all raise eyebrows at one another.

"Alrightee then! I'll just have to fight!" Alfred says, raising his fists. Jill smacks him in the face. Alfred retreats, crying. "Alright! Alright I give! Take the blasted rocket launcher!"

"Hooray!" Chris says, flying over to free the rocket launcher from its case.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" Alfred shrieks "Fooled ya dumb asses!"

He transforms (_or rather...mutates using the G-virus (a.k.a Gay-vius_)) into some big ass tryant with pink ribbons tied all around his ankles and head. "You're going down!"

He runs at them to strike and they dodge-

-the rocket launcher case breaks somehow, the weapon soaring through the air in super-slow motion.

"MAAATTTRIIIXXXX RIPPPP OFFFFF!" Jill says in super slow motion.

"WAAATCCHHHH OUTTTT!" Barry says in super-slow motion.

"WHEEEEEEE!" shous Chris, in normal motion. "Hey! I'm not a ghost anymore!"

"Yay! Now we can kill you for good!" Jill shouts happily.

Chris looks up, then dives, catching the rocket launcher in his arms and points it directly at Alfred's gay face. "EAT IT!" he shrieks. "EAT IT! EAT IT! EAT IT! EAT IT!"

"NNNNNOOOO!!!!" screams Alfred, then his head is blown off.

"It's blood and gore! It's blood and gore!" sing all the other Resident Evil characters, running over and dancing around Alfred's decapitated body. Fatal Frame joins them soon after, doing the chicken dance.

"You want gore?!" shrieks Kei "I'll give you gore!" He pulls out a grenade, and pulls the ring. He blows up.

"YAYYY!" the Resident Evil characters dance around in the raining blood.

"I missed you" sighs Chris and he gives the Rocket Launcher a big hug and kiss.

"Shove over Chris!" Jill pushes him out of the way, stroking the rocket launcher "Whos a good weapon?" she cooes to it.

"I want to hug the rocket launcher!" Wesker shrieks, trying to grab it from her.

All the resident evil characters run up and cradle their beloved rocket launcher, as night falls upon them.

Cool beans!!!!!!

* * *

"I'm glad everythings back to normal now!" Jill sighs as they head back to the Resident Evil forums.

"Wait a moment, not everything..." Wesker says slowly. He takes the rocket launcher to Silent Hill and blows the god-damn place up. "BURN IN HELL YOU MOTHER-"

"Now, we can get Capcom to plan the next game for us" Jill says reasonably. "I hear its called, Umbrella Chronicles"

"What about Resident Evil 5?" Chris asks.

"Oh...so sorry Chris...when people found out you were the main character, they didn't want to play it anymore" Wesker says.

"Fuck you" Chris snaps. He gets up "Anyways, I wanna save the end of this crappy adventure and get some sleep"

He stomps out of the room.

"So what happened to Fatal Frame?' Jill asks Wesker.

"They got all excited when we beat Silent Hill, that the blew themselves up" he tells her.

"Good for them" Jill nods "what about Silent Hill?"

"I have personally seen to that..." Wersker says darkly.

"What...what is this?!" Barry booms, reading a newsletter. "they're not going to bring me back in Resident Evil, ever again?"

They all look at one another and start laughing their heads off. Then, there is a blood-curdling scream-

-Chris hurries into the room, pale and shocked.

"Whats wrong Chris?" Jill asks, concerned.

Chris stares at all of them before shouting;

"WHERE'S MY TYPEWRITER????!!!!!!"

**The end. LOL.**

* * *

Well, thats it. The story of the S.T.A.R.S alpha team (minus Joseph) has come to an end. Yes, if you didn't like it, bash your heads against the wall or something, I'm not going to write anymore.

You can join the dying Silent Hill peoples lying in a ditch somewhere

For those of you who did enjoy it...great! (praises you). Thanks for sticking with me all the way. (Sorry it took so long to write!)

See ya all later!!!! Or not!

* * *

**sneak preview of Sinnera's next Parody, "Demented" (Based on Capcom's Haunting Ground)**

"Okay...let me get this straight" Fiona Belli says to everyone.

She points at the stunningly beautiful maid, Daniella "Okay, you already have the azoth shit, but you're coming after me anyway"

Daniella shrugs "Nothing better to do" she says.

"And you, Retardo" she points at the hooded guy with the gun "what's up with you?"

"Nothing!" Retardo says angrily, tapping his gun against his hand-

-and it fires off a shot. Retardo screams like a girl. "Oh my!" Retardo shrieks dancing on his toes "I'm so sorry! Don't you do that! Naughty gun! Naughty gun!"he gives the gun three little hits on the barrel. Fiona rolls her eyes.

"Where's Lorenzo?" she asks.

"You crushed him under a stone pillar, then you squashed him in that machine...then after that, you pushed him in a lava bed, do you really think he's still alive?" Daniella questions.

"No...whatever, anyways, where is that retard that chases me in the first level?"

"Right here" says a voice. A little kid looks up at her. "Tis is Debilitas" he announces.

"Wait! Aren't you supposed to be big and dumb?" Fiona asks, frowning.

"No no no" he says in a british accent "I am a five year old child, with the mind of a thirty year old man"

Fiona looks up "What kind of sicko would write a fanfic of this?!"


End file.
